Monday, 29 October 2012

As Kenny used to say, 'All in The Best Parssible Taste'

Been a funny week and not 'funny ha ha'. My wife was diagnosed with glaucoma for a start, unwelcome news and something of a shock. Any reader who can tell me anything positive about such news would cheer things up around here. Dark nights, getting old, feeling fragile, good fun this getting old milarky. Stomach bugs doing the rounds, Jimmy Savile in the news EVERY single day, energy prices going up and up, I need a smile: so this post is not the one I intended.
Do you remember an early post when I related the gaffe when I mistook the contraceptive machine in a gents toilet for a hand drier. The look on the face of the young chap in the men's room was well worth the visit. Probably the first time I realised I might be definitely losing it. And wandering round a toilet in a garden centre Blackpool way taking photographs was not exactly a sensible thing to do. But they were magnificent urinals, definitely worthy of a wider audience.
I visited a rather posh pub in the Peak District in the summer. It was not doing too well and bit by bit it dawned on my wife and I that we were almost certainly the only couple who were 'legit', 'married', 'official'. You can always tell; they were speaking for a start! 'canoodling'. They were definitely not with their own wives! The clincher was when I visited the 'gents'. On the wall of this obscure, up market village pub was a machine offering tablets that presumably enhanced ones 'performance' if you know what I mean. And if you lead a sheltered existence and don't, as the television programme used to say, 'phone a friend'.
Times are indeed hard, it must be difficult  for village pub landlords to make a living.
I was relating these 'tales' to a younger, more sophisticated friend. (Come to think of it, everyone's more sophisticated than ''Grumpy'. He directed me to a piece of YouTube that sums it all up. (For those of a sensitive nature please ignore this directive!) Frequently in life I'm back to my favourite saying' by my old friend Bob. 'Times they are a'changing.' Indeed they are.
All very lavatorial but it all amused me. I'm seventy three next week and somewhat past caring. I immediately felt more cheerful. Forgive my vulgarity but hope it amuses. I must admit I feel better already!                                                          .  



Star said...

Lovely post, the comment about the condom/hand dryer mixup made me laugh out loud, and that felt good, thanks. I, too, was just thinking this morning about the first time someone offered me a seat on a bus (a shocked, but grateful me sat down).

Valerie said...

You're only as old as you feel, Ken. Think young for a few days, I find that works quite well.

Karrie262 said...

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis of glaucoma. An upside (at least here in the States) is that medicinal marijuana can be prescribed. I hope nothing but the best.

Dumdad said...

Condom/hand dryer eror - très funny!

PS You have my old (and now closed) blog on your blogroll. My "new" (since January 2011) blog is:

the fly in the web said...

I'm sorry about your wife's diagnosis, but know nothing useful.

The youtube item was incredible and will be going the rounds!11 netEnga

cheshire wife said...

Last night while trying to view the You Tube link my laptop switched itself off. I think that, that says it all!

Bernard said...

My dear friend Barbara,(for 30+ years) was also diagnosed with glaucoma two years ago. Apart from not being able to drive, the only discernible thing I have noticed, is that Barb now has an 'eye' for the younger members of the opposite sex!
Even at 70, we have competition, with or without pills from pub toilets!

Nota Bene said...

Happy birthday for next week...73 is the new 37

Bookwormsmarket Blog said...

I'm sorry to hear your wife has glaucoma but I can speak positively about it. I was diagnosed with at age 37, unfortunately by then I had lost most of my peripheral vision (even though I had checks every 6 months as it's in the family). I'm now 57 and legally blind but I'm thankful to say I can still see to get around! If your wife hasn't lost her sight already, it is very likely she won't get any worse if she takes the treatment (eyedrops) religiously! I'd like to hear how she gets on.

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Grumpy Old Ken said...

Pardon my vulgarity but it reminds me of the lady in the bus who asks 'Don't you stand up for someone who's pregnant.' The chap asks 'And how long have you been pregnant?' and the lady replies 'About forty five minutes!'

Grumpy Old Ken said...

The bus 'story' was for you of course!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

How does one think young? (Sounds Good!)

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Sounds absolutely brilliant!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

My technological skills!
Will change it when my wife's available!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

fly in the web

Glad you liked it!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

cheshire wife
Oh dear, hope it wasn't my fault!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Ups! (My wife is still driving as yet)

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Nota Bene

Very true on a good day!

Grumpy Old Ken said...


Thanks, hoping they can hold any further problems at bay.

Grumpy Old Ken said...


Hi and welcome. You sound very busy

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