Monday 24 June 2013

I'm in Charge. (Not!)

    It is now nearly five weeks since the trauma associated with Replacement Knee Surgery began. Life will eventually return to a state of near normality I hope. perhaps. In the meantime I live in the surreal world occupied by those out of work, retired, very retired, those immobile, indeed anyone not preoccupied by the necessity to leave the house on a daily basis. Jeremy Kyle has become my staple diet. I leave the house infrequently via an  unsprung vehicle, (ambulance) to be  further tortured by attractive ladies in the local hospital intent on returning me to a state of supreme fitness via all manner of machines. (Physios\ Occupation therapists)). Which of course will be very clever as my fitness prior to the operation was by no means 'supreme'. Life is still a hazy, drug induced existence but is getting better so some thoughts on the last four week, in no particular order.
    Drugs ruled\rule; my life, People, other people were now in control. My very existence was in the hands of others. I was in bed; how long decided by others. What to do and when decided by others. (Eat, poo, pee, decided by me. You must be joking!) No alcohol, not allowed; driving, not allowed; over a month of being fetched, carried, delivered. When, how, where decided by others. (The longest I have gone without alcohol for over fifty years! I have lost well over a stone in weight. Amazing!)
I have felt better but not really surprising as my daily intake of drugs includes:
Nefopam hydrocloride
Enoxaparin (an injection)
    All somewhat depressing but hopefully I will look back eventually and smile again at the trials and tribulations associated with spring and summer 2013. On a positive note, I have met people who I would not have met, many worse off than myself. To cheer ourselves up, my wife and I have decided to buy a new car. (Our present vehicle is fifteen years old!) So its into the world of modern vehicles, turbos, sat navs, safety ratings, CO2 emissions, cruise controls and colour coded bits and pieces. Should be interesting! 

Friday 14 June 2013

On Getting my Life Back.

It is twenty four days since the 'op'. A progress report on Life after New Knee. (LANK) a somewhat drug induced post so bear with me, please.
Knee replacement under an epidural is mind bending. The operation itself pain free, it is reminiscent of being on a building site; a lot of banging, hammering, sawing and good humoured workmen going about their business. Seemingly you are a 'honoray workman' for the day and are included in 'banter' around the table. The whole event was somewhat surreal. Though I was not prepared for a surgeon, viewed through my legs hold up in the air a large, bright orange fish which he carefully painted; I reckon it was a large tuna or a small shark. (In fact, as I realised later, it was my 'operational bound', leg which the surgeon was painting with iodine prior to the 'op') At this point a screen was put in place that ruined further viewing of the procedures. Spoilt sports!
Time went quickly, the 'op' was over and I was placed on a small ward housing other patients with similar afflictions. I would love to tell you recovery is pain free; I would be lying! But it does not go on for ever or so I am told! We celebrated my wife's sixty fifth birthday on the ward. (What some men will do to avoid spending money on their wives!)
I have never taken so many drugs in my life. As I speak I am still taking 15-16 tablets a day, including painkillers. The result is I live at times on the fringes of the 'real' world. (One night all our beds were placed upright. Bizarre. a good job we were strapped in! Powerful stuff, morphine and the like. And our house, in Derby has been transported to St Annes. I still check its location  on waking up three weeks later!)
I attended physiotherapy for the first time.. To see so many geriatrics peddling for England puts me to shame. But hopefully I'm getting there. What is it they say, 'No gain without pain'.
By the way, the heart 'problem' created far more interest than the boring old knee. I think the fact that it has been ignored for some considerable has caused other peoples hearts to beat faster. Nobody likes dead patients. Only joking. I'm thinking of giving my body for medical science. Though not yet I hope!

There are, I believe sixteen theatres in this section of the hospital.As far as I know teams of surgeons carried out around forty five knee replacements etc on the day in question. God bless the NHS.    

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Ground Control to Major Ken

Back in the world of the semi living. Knee replaced 22nd May. Not nice but necessary. What would we do without hospitals. I thought I was important in life being a teacher. Silly me! We are not in the same league as doctors and nurses.
I have never had so many visitors nor popped so many pills. A major reason being the discovery of heart murmur in the pre-op for the knee surgery.(Seemingly an ongoing problem.)  Evidently life is going to be busy in the near future.
I am walking, only just, with 'arm' crutches but surely it can only get better. Life is definitely precious. We two old fogies certainly think so. Will return shortly when my mind is hopefully clearer. Thank you for all your kind thoughts. I hope those who visit me don't feel neglected. Everyone of my followers is valued and all comments are read. Thanks, I am a lucky man in life.