Monday, 8 October 2012

One For The Ladies.

    I used to do a regular post concerning the month's alternative news.
I enjoyed doing them and they seemed to be popular but they were very time consuming and blogging is only part of a full geriatric life! But I've missed them and seem to have enough material to do something similar.
So here goes, Post One for the ladies, God Bless 'Em!
    We men have always known you ladies are stronger than us in so many ways. We're not renouned for being brave when we're ill, 'man flu' comes to mind. Plus you seem to be more resilient.
Joyce Pugh, aged 81 of Shrewsbury puts many of us to shame. She has been officially named the world's oldest papergirl. She has been delivering the Shropshire Star for 41 years and has never had a day off! And Dorothy Peel who lives in a care home in Hull celebrated her 110th birthday with a sherry and a whisky. Mind you, she gave up smoking when she was 104 and doesn't drink until 7pm.
    I was amazed to read the story of 86 year old Hilda Pearce who was found in a hedge in East Bridgford, Nottingham' reasonably well three days after going missing; what a constitution! Plus it wasn't funny for the lady in her eighties who failed to be dropped off at her sheltered accommodation in Luton after time at a day care centre. The bus was parked at up at 5.30pm; the lady, who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease was discovered at 7am the next day. The council are investigating; it didn't say whether the driver was male or female.
    I've always suspected pregnancy and childbirth is not as bad as the ladies make out. (only joking, honest!) But I do wonder when I read of the soldier who, unaware she was pregnant, gave birth at thirty four weeks to a healthy bouncing baby whilst serving as a gunner with the Royal Artillery at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan. Plus her training included running with a pack of over thirty pounds on her back; mother and baby are doing well!
Just in case someone thinks I put ALL women on a pedestal. It's not funny that Katherine Kirstwell, head of Kent County Council left her job after eighteen months, pocketed £420,000 and immediately became director general in the Cabinet Office at £142,000. Greedy, probably but I suppose you could blame the system. 
     Sheron Mancini was greedy or just plain stupid.  She tried to come through customs from Belgium with two gold bars in her bra. (one bar weighs 1kg.) Was she walking with a stoop I wonder?)
    A woman from Stroud was greedy and stupid. she shaved her son's head and eyebrows and claimed he was having chemotherapy for cancer. She netted £50,000 fraudulently before she was caught.
    How would you catagorize Alison Whelan who stole the passenger ferry at Dartmouth. when high on drink and drugs whilst shouting 'I'm Jack Sparrow, I'm a pirate.' She's evidently an alcoholic; now there's a surprise!
    Talking of sailors, Leading Hand Claire Butler from Middlesborough is a proper sailor and has just become the first member of the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth. Mind you, its not expected to be deployed until 2020. What exactly do the sailors do everyday until then?
    It would be interesting to ask which people think are the most generous, men or women. 
Sarah Finch, a McDonald's worker has just got the sack for putting too much topping on a colleague's 99p McFlurry ice cream dessert. Serious enough to go to tribunal; the mind boggles.
    Finally, do the ladies normally go in for DIY; more important, are they any good at it? (I loathe it, perhaps because I'm so naff at it.)
    The elderly lady in Borja, northeastern
Spain was only trying to help when she tried to restore a mural of 
Christ on the church wall. Only her efforts made Christ look somewhat monkeyish to everyone's embarrassment. But amazingly the ladies 'artwork' has become a tourist attraction. So much so that the church now charges visiters to view. (Four days brought in 2,000 euros.) So all's well that ends well. Except that the old lady has now demanded royalties for her work. Lawyers are sorting it out!
All very interesting; perhaps we'll  next look at the male contribution to the news in the recent past. Any help from my female readers welcome.  


Valerie said...

Well, I had to smile when I read about the lady in Spain. Royalties for ruining a mural of Chris? What is the world coming to?

Nota Bene said...

Some of these made me smile...the greedy woman made me angry...but I always love your concoctions of the best news!

the fly in the web said...

Lovely hardy was that poor lady found in the hedge!

Julia Bentley said...

Ah the wonders of woman and humanity. I am woman hear me ROOAAARR!! Haha! I love how you have a mix of the amazing women and the not so amazing women. To the 110 year old woman, “cheers!” The woman from Stroud should have to serve prison time and do community service with people who really are suffering from cancer. Sometimes humanity as a whole sickens me. Now it is time for the men right??? :)

Ptc said...

This is your very awesome post !

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Very canny lady!

Nota Bene
Thanks, all courtesy of the Times!

Fly in the Web
I doubt a man would have survived.

Grumpy Old Ken said...


Welcome. Sadly men on average do not come out too well. certainly not in my blogs!

Thank you and welcome.