Thursday 3 February 2011

Do You jump to Conclusions.

Do you ever get it wrong, or is it only me? Ever made a decision in life and its been the wrong one? I ask because at seventy plus I never seem to learn. And I do really try not to jump to conclusions yet I still sometimes get it wrong.
Mind you, I'm probably not on my own. ( Googled 'Jumping to Conclusins' and it came up with 612,000 suggestions; scary but I I'll leave the 'heavy' stuff to those more academically qualified
Some time ago I was seriously incapacitated due to falling down on the street. (Icy pavements, honest, not the drink!) So much so that my wife had to do all the fetching and carrying. (What's new, then!)
'Will you fetch me a demijohn from the garage, not the narrow necked type' I asked. (politely)
'Why don't you use a milk bottle' was my wife's reply.
Now I KNEW why I wanted a demijohn; my wife THOUGHT she knew why I wanted a demijohn but she jumped to conclusions; very much the wrong conclusions!
I once went on a First Aid course. Quite liked it, was dying to show off my new found knowledge. Shortly after the course I travelled down a road in the car. And out of the window, I was shocked to see a motionless form stretched out on the pavement. Slamming on the brakes I crashed to a stop and leapt out. I ran to the still form, noting with expertise, I thought, that it was a male, elderly, lying on his side, eyes looking blankly upwards. Heart attack, obviously. Calmly, as I had been taught, I recalled the various types of mouth to mouth resuscitation.
'Are you alright?' I enquired.
I was somewhat taken aback to hear the answer.
The body continued to lie motionless, eyes skyward' You're sure?' I reiterated. still somewhat surprised that a 'body' answered at all, never mind in the affirmative.
'Yes thank you,' the body answered coldly.
Nonplussed, I searched my mind for the reason for this odd behaviour on the part of the recumbent being.
Suddenly I noticed horizontal man was also apparently 'armless' if not harmless. (sorry!) The reason was immediately obvious, to my eternal embarrassment. One arm and hand was extended downwards into the ground. My 'patient' was engaged in turning some sort of stopcock set in the ground, hence his strange position. I left hurriedly!
We make decisions all our lives, some important, some not so; plus we come to conclusions. Based on what I wonder. (It occurs to me that, in spite of my eccentricities, my wife made a good decision choosing me all those years ago.) But more to the point, do you ever jump to conclusions, and dare you tell us about it!


jacksofbuxton said...

I never jump to conclusions.

I'm only allowed to think what my wife tells me....

An English Shepherd said...

Like the last video clip :-)


L.A.C.E. said...

I jump from one conclusion to another. I bet if you could replay my life it would resemble mario jumping from toadstool to toadstool. I don't think I'll ever learn. Hmm.. wonder if it's because I don't want to, more interesting this way :P

Great blog!! Great video clip!!

Sueann said...

Yes I must admit that I have for sure. One time someone asked me if I was Presbyterian...I said no I was non-denominational. Then I realized she was asking what health insurance we had! Duh!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think it's human nature to jump to conclusions - I know I always try and fill out the blanks without taking the time to ask what's actually going on! Great post!

Lady A

Andy said...

Reading this, I realise now that I do, having lived the last 50 plus years in blissful ignorance. Thanks for that...........

Brilliant clip!

Pauline said...

Great video! I constantly jump to conclusions, although sometimes it is giant leaps. But, being a woman, I am sometimes right! hehe

Pauline said...

Oh darn, I forgot to add I've passed an award on to you. Hope you don't mind. Maybe you can guess that your blog falls into the "those that amuse me" category.

Peter said...

Yes. I remember a visit to see my brother and his family in Australia. My family and his went to visit a theme park where I saw the sign, 'All thongs must be removed before entering ride'. My mind went into overdrive about the dangers a thong might present to the wearer.

My brother's Australian wife then explained to me that in Oz, a thong is something you wear on your feet, equivalent to the English flip flops. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

This didn't give me any hope! I'm only sixteen! Am I going to be doing this my whole life? Great. Sixty four more years of having to explain myself, according to you. Haha; Xp

Jeffrey Slater said...

Great post and video. We jump to conclusions without thinking about context all the time.


Kitty said...

We all 'process' information and reach a conclusion. Clearly, we do not always have all the fact before we process. I'm a terror for jumping to conclusions :) x

roughneckturtle/Jeff C. said...

Oh, yea. I've jumped to a conclusion or two. Just last week I jumped to one and have yet to land on the other side. By the way, you have a Stylish Blogger Award over here. Please come get it.

sleepinl8 said...

Love the video. Literally made me laugh out loud at the last part. And do I jump to conclusions? Absolutely. Practically everything I do involves the work of filling out a mad libs workbook ;)

Wonder Girl said...

Its like: who doesn't jump to conclusions. I always do. I try not to, but thats so not happening.

Stuff & Bunches said...

It makes me think of the movie Office Space and the Jump to
Conclusions game. Often times it is hard to avoid. I loved your story about trying to help the fallen man! Glad to know there are people trying to help out there!

always.ticking said...

I think it's just human nature to jump to conclusions. Nothing we can do about it really just try and control ourselves. I absolutely love the clip though, haha.

Adriana said...

Try to look at it from a different angle: very often people just don't provide you with enough information and making the wrong conclusion is inevitable. Like, for example, your wife was not "jumping to a conclusion", she was making a logical link (given the situation), meanwhile you were just acting out of context.

Barbara said...

great story, yet it still is something that you reacted at all, many wouldn't do even that much!

Bish Bosh Bash said...

Some years ago I unknowingly made a right royal faux pas while booking a room by phone, with a Hotel in France. Determined to make the effort and complete the task in my best tourist French, in the vain hope that I might even secure some extra special VIP brownie points with the Hotel’s owners – who spoke very little English – I impressed myself by faultlessly saying “Je voudrais réserver une chambre lit double pour moi et ma fille…s'il vous plaît.”

There was a long silence, and a lot of nervous sounding Ooh’s & Aahs coming back down the phone line. Then a troubled sounding mans voice came on the line and said in a mix of broken English and French “Are you sure vous desir un chambre double for you et votre fille…Monsieur?

To which I responded a bit a little bit nervously now – “Oui s’il vous plait” There was a lot more frantic whispered interchange going on between three or more people at the other end, and I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. Then the man came back on and said “Okay Monsieur – we do ziss for you”. Although he didn’t sound very happy at all.

A week later we arrived at this small but very smart looking hotel in a town near Rennes, went to the reception desk and introduced ourselves. The girl checked her reservation book, glanced back up at me with a look of undisguised alarm and promptly bolted off out the back, leaving us standing there completely perplexed.

There was a commotion as five very straight faced manager and manageress types filed back into reception and started glancing back and forth very severely between us, but mostly at my wife. All very startling and worrying for both of us. Then the oldest and most senior looking man stepped forward and said in very good English…”Forgive me Monsieur, but is this lady your err…daughter?” To which I confusedly said “No, this lady…is my wife”.

Frantic verbal interchange between all of them followed, before the man turned back to me and said “But Monsieur, when you telephoned, you specifically asked for a double bedded room for you and your daughter – ‘votre fille’?!” “Oh” I said, feeling a sudden surge of body heat.. “Whats the French for wife then?” and with a look of sudden understanding he politely looked down, slowly shook his head and said “It’s ‘Femme’ Monsieur – not ‘Fille’ but ‘Femme’” to which he grinned widely, turned to his team and gushed out a torrent of rapid French to a lot of gesticulating and jaw opening from his colleages – as their own expressions quickly changed to howls of laughter and even more waving of arms and hands together - including a very large and fearsome looking chef, who had quietly appeared to scowl at me a few moments earlier.

The centime now ‘dropped’ – my wife touched the senior managers arm and said to him very charmingly “Merci beaucoup Monsieur pour la compliment as Ma ‘fille’ a 21 ans!...and how ‘peut-être’ may I call my usband ere…a complete and utter ‘di****ad’…en Francais?” to which the manager bowed politely and said… “Madame, there are a great many ways we can help you do this…and It will be my personal pleasure to write them all down for you…forthwith. Welcome to our Hotel.”

We shared much humour with them all for the duration of our stay, during which the manager confided to us that they had planned to decline me the use of the double room with my ‘daughter’, on my arrival, and either insist on me taking a second bedroom or throwing me out altogether.

And my wife took great pleasure in addressing me as “Ma tête petite bite” to just about every French man, woman and dog we met for the remainder of our trip and beyond.

Laughed out loud at your post here Mr Ken and then again at the video too. Brilliant!

And Merci grande buckets pour votre magnifique comments over sur mon blog earlier. Jai was tres chuffed!

Bientôt de retour – Tete Bite x

P.S. WV this time was 'sphom'!

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

I have recently made a momentous change in my life and moved from England ot America. I have based my whole blog on the colclusions I have jumped to! Probably unfair and unfounded but it keeps me sane! (as sane as I ever was!. If I am wrong I will end up offending lots of Americans. Regardless of right or wrong it amuses the Brits! x

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

...and ooops - I really should check spellings before I publish comments! sorry Ken!

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