That's Life.

    This is not actually the post I intended. But in researching material for Grumpy's Alternative News for October I became sidetracked. (The October News item will be my next post.) I noticed several news items that made me think about luck, fate, call it what you will. Now I know that there are people out there who believe our lives our being, our ending is pre-destined; when your times up, your times up.(Presumably all worked out in advance by an all powerful being some refer to as 'God'.) And who am I to interfere with personal beliefs. (See post dated 4th August, And After Creation For My Next Trick.) The suggestion is that FATE is a course of events that will inevitably happen in the future. LUCK seems to be what will happen, good or bad, due to chance, FATE or fortune. The subtle difference is that FATE cannot be changed, it is your destiny. I could no doubt find examples of 'FATE' to prove a point or otherwise from anywhere or any time. But these are instances from September's news that brought on this deep, deep philosophical debate. (Somewhat tongue in cheek examples, it's not Einstein writing this blog, it's Grumpy Old Ken for goodness sake!)

    Bristol. A man stabbed his wife with a 14 inch kitchen knife. Her life is saved because the blade caught the wiring of her bra, enabling her to fend him off and escape. A good job she wore a bra!

    High Wycombe. Four British tourists holiday in Peru. They book a flight in a Cessna 185 from a remote site. A last minute arrangement, the pilot is flustered, and is over the alcohol limits for pilots. He forgets to switch on the fuel, the plane almost immediately crashes, all are killed. Couldn't happen to me, I only go to Skegness. Wait a minute, Skegness does flights round the town and back!

Bradford. A man falls backwards into a clothes-dryer; the dryer collapses. His head lodges between the rails. He struggles to free himself, makes matters worse and he suffocates. A coroner said the incident was 'probably rarer than being struck by lightning or struck by a meteorite'.

    Connah's Quay. A Mr Michael Dunn from Connah's Quay, Wales goes all the way to Australia for a military exercise in Brisbane. He goes to use a portable toilet. The toilet explodes whilst Sergeant Dunn is inside. Cause unknown but probably a fuel spill. No matter, Sergeant Dunn is killed and is awarded a full military funeral.

    Cardiff. Mohammed Ali Ege has problems with a man who owes him money. He is a bad man, is Mohammed Ali, and pays two men to kill the debtor. The two 'hitmen' are not over bright, plus high on drugs. They go to the wrong house, in the wrong street and kill the wrong man. Sadly very much a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Galway Michael Fahery, aged 76, was found totally burnt in his home. The only damage to the property was above and below him. The coroner's verdict, he died of 'spontaneous human combustion'. Now some say such a thing is impossible, but a coroner is a learned man; you cannot take his verdict lightly.

    There you have it. All examples of FATE? You tell me. And just for a complete tease. Niall Pawsey, a law student from Cheltenham had a bet with friends that he could go for a month without drinking alcohol. He won his bet and they all celebrated. A further bet was that Neil could swim across the Thames at Kingston in Surrey. Unfortunately Niall lost this bet, his luck??? was out and he paid with his life. Jeni Anderson, a 23 year old student fell overboard, in the dark from a ferry 20 miles off Scarborough. A lifeboat from the ferry picked her up thirty minutes later, cold and frightened, but very much alive. You could truthfully say her time was NOT up. What do you reckon? 

    

April Showers (Grumpy's Alternative News.)

In a month when politicians yet again disgraced themselves with their greed, lies and e-mail shenanigans, stories from the animal kingdom brought welcome respite. Animals are more interesting than politicians anyway.
Take the politician in Poland who criticised his local zoo for acquiring a gay elephant. 'We didn't pay 37 million zlotys building the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there' he is quoted as saying. There is so much you could say on this story, for once I am speechless!
Did you notice the building of three hundred houses in Bristol has been delayed by a colony of slowworms. (A protected legless lizard) A real go slow I reckon. Go slow, get it. Oh, please yourself!
I also noticed scientists in Dubai have created the first cloned camel. The obvious question is why? Named Injaz, evidently its mother was slaughtered for meat in 2005. Its enough to give you the hump! Mind you, not everyone has kind feelings towards our four legged friends. A French bus driver in Berlin, Christina Pommerel was suspended for stopping to save a frog from getting squashed by her double decker bus. Irate passengers said her actions made them late. What miserable people. I hope the next bus drives straight past their queue!
Luckier was a giant lobster in Oxford University named Don, (weight 7lbs 7ounces, almost the same as my new grandson, Ted, but not half as handsome.) He, Don, not Ted was rehoused in the Blue Reef Aquarium, Southsea after outgrowing his tank. Presumably after six years in Oxford he is now a PHD. (Perfectly Happy Don.) I know, I know, it gets worse!
Plus Peta, the animal rights group showed us its heart is in the right place. They urged the Pet Shop Boys to change their names to the Rescue Shelter Boys to help in the fight against animal cruelty. They, Peta suggested it might encourage fans to consider giving a home to an abandoned animal from an animal shelter. The Pet Shop Boys were not unsympathetic but suggested they leave them alone and go and bother the Artic Monkeys instead.
I noticed Courtney Love was in the news and I must confess I had to look up exactly who she is. Evidently removal men packing her belongings threw out a dead bird in a matchbox. Which was a pity as it was an £8,000 work by the artist Polly Morgan. A replacement had to be sent (presumably at the same price), good business for the artist.
Notice how the moment humans are involved things tend to go wrong. A life size statue of a reclining horse, value £200,000 by Dame Elizabeth Frink is an object of rare beauty. Unfortunately one has gone missing from a gated property in Surrey. Stolen almost certainly by men in a Land Rover, its scrap value will, alas, be far short of £200,000. The police spokesman's comments that the vehicle 'caused a substantial amount of damage to the lawn' suggests he was more of a gardener than an art connoisseur.
Finally a real treat. Richard Lavelle, aged eighty has trained visiting foxes to beg for food on their nightly visits. Well done Mr Lavelle, you brightened a somewhat dour month. The gentleman in question lives approximately half a mile from where I am typing this blog. I have no doubt his foxes visit my garden (there are at least seven foxes.) The RSPCA put a dampener on events, pontificating, 'They could easily become dependent on you, then what happens when you move away?' Oh for goodness sake, lighten up, RSPCA. I reckon if all else fails these foxes (video) will form a group and go busking in town.