Food, Glorious Food.

    I reckon there are more books on food than any other subject. Yet this is the first time I've ever done a post on it. And its all my wife's fault! Because she ate something last week she's not eaten for over twenty years. Something rare, exquisite, so delicious (so she told me) than she was almost sick with excitement; and all for £2. 50. But lets begin at the beginning.

    The food in question was not the spice saffron. A pound of saffron takes 50-75 thousand flowers to produce. One pound of saffron costs anywhere between 500 and 5,000 dollars. Expensive but cheaper than birds nest soup. Nests made by cave swifts from their saliva, one pound would set you back between 910 and 4,500 dollars. Not bad for spit! Or how about some white truffles. Impossible to cultivate, a rare item found in the wild in Italy and Croatia, again it doesn't come cheap. Unless you're very rich , then I suppose a price between 1,360 and 4,200 dollars per pound is quite affordable. (Highest price ever paid for a truffle was 330,000 dollars.) Caviar, anyone? Eggs from the Beluga Sturgeon courtesy of the Caspian Sea; as far as I know there is only one place you can buy it in London, at the aptly named Caviar House. Expect to pay between 8,000 and 15,000 dollars. Mind you, that is the price for a pound; you won't be offered a pound, you'd be sick. Mind you, at that price you'd probably be sick anyway!

Talking of being sick, do you fancy a coffee after your meal. Kopi luwak coffee to be precise. Before being ground the beans to make this coffee must have passed through a civet (a tree cat.) I hope they wash the beans well before they grind them!

    So what did my wife find that caused her 'deep joy', in of all places, Ripon in Yorkshire. My wife is a coeliac; she has an allergy to gluten. This means that if she eats anything containing gluten, she is violently ill. She was diagnosed many years ago and has in fact probably been allergic since childhood. Thus, like you and I, she ate food containing wheat in her younger days. The point I am making is that many of the foods she now strictly avoids she enjoyed in her younger days (without of course realising than some were the cause of her ill health.) It is a tricky business, finding gluten free foods although better than years ago. There is more choice for coeliacs  today, but life can be complicated. Some types of crisps for instance contain flour, some don't; it depends on the flavour. At one stage large Mars Bars did not contain flour, small ones did. (Presumably the small ones from the 'bumper packs' contained flour to 'bulk up' the product; and you thought you were getting a bargain!)

    What was the 'deep joy' my wife found in Ripon, and why the surprise. Long term followers of my blog might remember a previous visit to Ripon. (9th May 2008) My wife requested, in a fish and chip shop, chips and a fish minus the batter. The result was astonishing. The man behind the counter rudely ridiculed my wife for such a fatuous request. 'A fish without batter, how silly." Which is interesting, as we have had this request granted all over the country, with good grace I might add. I was not asking for biryani, sushi, dosa or pepian; or for that matter, elephants testicles on toast. Mind you this particular idiot would have probably run out of bread!

    What a rude, arrogant, ignorant, sexist, loud, unthinking individual. What an advert for a place that needs every tourist it can find. Remember, this was our introduction to Ripon, not typical I hope.

Fast forward to 2012. My wife has to avoid  many foods. But that does not stop her buying me food that she misses greatly, for instance, oatcakes That's one reason why we have been married for forty two happy years. So what made our recent visit to Ripon special. We found in a little shop, only recently opened by two delightful ladies a selection of gluten free food. And the one than gave the most 'deep joy'? Gluten free pork pies!

    Well done the ladies in Langton's, my wife's expression when she sampled your pies was  a joy to behold. After our previous visit to Ripon a most pleasant surprise; a visit that this time will be remembered for all the right reasons. Which begs the question, what is the food you would miss most if you were no longer allowed it?

    Just to round off this post, memories of Stanley Unwin, the originator of the phrase 'deep joy are in order. (Stanley died in 2002 aged 90.) Click on the link to hear Stanley mangling the Queens English like no other!

Colloarders of the World, Unite

I don't throw much away, hence the length of time it's taking to sort out our possessions lovingly carted from our previous abode. I don't know whether you'd call me a genuine collector or merely a hoarder, hence I think I'll settle for 'colloarder'. This week its the turn of my mug collection to be examined, some displayed and some returned to the loft for another twenty years! (I've just done a complete reverse turn and had a loft ladder fitted, having sworn blind eight weeks ago I was filling no more lofts in my ever decreasing lifetime.)

I was given a pewter mug as a leaving present many years ago; I can't even remember the occasion. But it kindled an interest that means I now own many, many assorted mugs and jugs, heaven forbid, made of pot, pewter, EPNS, leather, wood or copper. (I would have many more but my DIY skills are both infamous and legendary. Hence shelves fall with regular monotony, taking their contents to a noisy, earsplitting end.)

Many of these prizes were bought at car boots, value, not much but some having a sentimental value beyond mere monetary considerations. Thus you remember a large car boot at Ripon Racecourse on a hot day and the bitterly cold wind at a similar, much smaller event at Beadnell.. An indoor cattle market at Hexham; a market stall in Nuneaton, a craft fair in Bakewell and so on ad infinitum. From twenty pence to twenty pounds, treasures carted home and lovingly displayed. Often an education in themselves if only you take the time to examine them closely.

Commemorative offerings are commonplace but always of interest. 'Burton Albion, FA Challenge Finalists at Wembley, May 9th, 1987.' a pot reminder of coming second; who was it whose song included the words, 'nearly there'.

A large pewter mug with the inscription 'T G Grawstorne, 2nd in the Junior Steeplechase, Eton, 1895. One hell of a prize, I wonder what you got for coming first!

Mugs commemorating the Silver Jubilee of the Derbyshire Fire Service in 1973 and the Queen's Silver Jubilee in 1977. (Plus sad reminders of Charles and Diana's wedding, 29th July, 1981.)

I'm not surprised I have a mug issued by 'The Beer Swillers Union', less sure why a mug with the inscription 'Temperance Union' is in my possession.'

Some jugs and mugs bring back memories of companies lost but not forgotten: Bass, Flowers, 'E', Ind Coope, Stones. Plus items made by firms whose products have stood the test of time. Elaborate Irish Wade, made for display only and plain but far more functional Pearson Pottery stoneware; Gibsons and Arthur Wood. Empire Porcelain and Lord Nelson Pottery. Pewter made by James Yates and Gaskill and Chambers, plus much to my surprise, two ancient mug with the simple inscription 'Made in China'. So what's new. Super mugs, though you would be ill advised to drink from them. The pewter has a high percentage of lead and the bases are one hundred per cent lead. What was the life span of the average Chinese person a hundred years ago!

Many Edwardian mugs commemorate our British heritage. Pictures of famous hostelries adorn many a mug; The Old Coach House, Stratford and The Great White Horse, Ipswich are two in point. Scenes from Charles Dickens are frequently shown, 'Master Bates Explains a Point' for example.

In the main Edwardians were fairly serious as to what they chose to display on their sideboards. Some mugs are humorous but lighthearted and very inoffensive. I am unsure as to the exact date of the mugs that depict 'The Motorists Prayer' and 'The Gamblers Prayer' are likely to be later. A mug very reminiscent of saucy seaside postcards depicts a working class couple outside the Law Courts looking embarrassed by the sign pointing to 'Queen Anne's Chamber'. Very risque but not as rude as the mug showing a young lady with a movable chest with the inscription 'Let Them Swing'. Perhaps funny, perhaps not but quality wise not in the same league as earlier examples I have on display. Which suggests that sadly quality is often though not always a thing of the past.

Then there are the puzzling items that test your research skills. For instance, the pewter mug with the inscription, EGW 1918-1939. To what does it refer? Ancient copper mugs with the stamped 'The Wheatsheaf'. Which Wheatsheaf, there must be thousands. The mug with the flag and the name 'Orsova' is obviously concerning a ship, but why, were they given away or bought as souvenirs. And the mug inscribed 'The Viner Cup, 1966, who why and where I wonder. Plus what happened to poor old Bill. I have his pint pot inscribed simply 'To Bill from the Lads.'

We all have our foibles, I'll bet I'm not the only hoarder come collector in the blogging community. What do you collect, in fact what's your 'bestest', favourite possession?

First Impressions of Ripon

Who was it who sang 'I love to go a'wandering' all those years ago? Pointed the motorhome north last Friday and off we went. One of the attractions is that you don't always know for certain where you'll land or what you'll find. Sat in Ripon, that delightful Yorkshire town two hours later. Parking proved ridiculously easy, the sun shone down, the signs were good. A promising start to a well earned break. Out of the city to small town idyllic charm. Hunger pangs at the ready, we espied a fish and chip shop with welcoming open doors. Only in the time it took us to cross the street the proprieter appeared in the doorway and with a curt, "We're shutting" hastily closed the doors.
Bemused I looked over my shoulder to make sure our spaceship was still parked, for surely we were aliens from afar to warrant such treatment. Had we landed in Ripon, never; the place was undoubtedly Royston Vasey. Never mind, a short distance away was another chip shop, this time with customers. We entered and patiently waited our turn. The unsmiling man behind the counter looked in our direction. "Fish and chips once please, and could you please do a second fish without the batter." My wife is what is called a coeliac, and thereby has to have a gluten free diet. Had my wife requested caviar, oysters or even elephants testicles on toast, the effect could not have been more dramatic. His eyes glazed over at the absurdity of such a request. "Can't be done," he emphatically stated with authority, "tried it once and all the blacking on the bottom of the pan came off." And that was that. Which is strange in that the Polish person serving in the chipshop in Seahouses can do it, and do it to perfection; as can, amongst others, the Turkish chipshop in Ashbourne and a Greek establishment in Weston Super Mare. A shame really, as you tend to judge a place on such minor absurdities. And yes its true that I'm not called Grumpy Old Ken for nothing. It's not true I later called in a cafe in Ripon for elephants testicles on toast and they'd run out of bread.