Monday, 10 August 2009

Useless Buys

I spent five minutes strimming my apology for a lawn yesterday. Followed by twenty minutes trying to put the strimmer together again after it fell to pieces for the umpteenth time. If it does this ten times a summer and I strim for twenty five summers that means I will have spent just under four days of my life fixing strimmers before I die. Was I really put on the earth for this purpose!
Is it me or are strimmers a useless product. Now I'm not renowned for my DIY skills. If I saw the left hand end of a piece of wood the right hand end falls off. And shelves in our house slope more than the Cresta Run. I'm not too practical in general. I once bought a trailer, hooked it on the back of the car and drove home. Only when I got home it was gone. But it amuses people and don't you just hate people who are perfect at everything. But its not always me, the world seems full of useless objects.
I fed 'useless tools' onto the internet. Amazingly there were 12,100,000 references. (There are also 7,470,000 references to 'crap products'.) And when I read the things people have bought and then found useless in the extreme it cheers me up immensely. Some of the products I confess I've never heard of. Rot Zip, what the heck is Rot Zip. Profile sanders, whatever they are also list highly on people's pet hates.
Banana slices, back scratchers, yogurt makers, turkey turners, all have some fuming. I suppose some might find these items of immense use, if so, please tell me. But a gas powered leaf blower, surely not an asset. Great, presumably it shifts the leaves, but where to?
How many items have you got tucked away in the house or garage that you thought was a good idea at the time. We tend to be suckers for flash demonstrators at exhibitions. Plus we all like gadgets, particularly the ladies I suspect. (No, the ladies are not gadgets. Oh you know what I mean.) Dare you confess to something you bought that you thought was a good idea at the time. I suggest two categories. Something that is useless and something that was badly made in the extreme.
Lest I give the impression that all my household objects are useless or badly made, let me hold up my yard brush as an example of exemplary British craftsmanship. I bought it in 1972, soon after we were married. I was a student at the time, soon to have two children. Money was tight so I considered the 7/6d it cost was money well spent. And do you know, it it still going strong today. It has performed well, and all it has ever had is three new heads and two new handles. It pays to choose a product you know will be useful and will last for ever!


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Strawberry Jam Anne said...

I'm pretty sure that in my fairly long life (so far) I must have bought something that was pretty useless at the job it was intended for. I'll have to think about it. I may or may not agree with the first comment though!

BTW is your nickname "Trigger"?


Nota Bene said...

A gadget I managed to stop myself buying last week was a set of six mini woks on a heater for a communal wok party....
....the one I did but was a 3' fan for the noisy, that it's like standing next to a jumbo jet

ADDY said...

I've got a lot of kitchen gadgets that have seemed useful in the shop until I got them home!

Lakeland Jo said...

strimmers and leaf blowers- we have had both and my husband destroyed them both. Now my friend, who is a gardener, does it all for us and the family stress levels are much better. Mind you, much as I love the place, if you want some seriously ridiculous useless buys go to Lakeland.

Bernard said...

An ash-tray for my motorbike!

cheshire wife said...

Thank you for ideas of what not to buy my husband for his birthday next week.

AGuidingLife said...

My strimmer lasts about 5 seconds before it needs the wire rethreading again - useless crap, Garden edgers now in 21st year, sharpen occassionally - great buy.

But my hard bristled hand brush must be 30 years old, it was even a long gone rabbits favourite toy for a while but it is the best brush ever; you just can't buy them that good now.

My mother bought me jewel encrusted (fake) jam knives for last christmas - WTF?

Grumpy Old Ken said...

BTW, you've lost me. Aren't I slow this morning!

Mini woks. Amazing!

I wonder whose worst, men or women?

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Lakelook look good but expensive. We have one in Derby.


I hope you are not being serious!

cheshire wife

I suspect all men are a bit hopeless!

Grumpy Old Ken said...


WTF? I'm not very modern.
The knives sound amazing.

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