Monday, 16 June 2008

Hoarding Masterclass

The loft clear out is ongoing. The charity boxes continue to fill. I continue to empty them when my wife is out. I don't mind giving to charity but there's a limit, for heavens sake. I retrieve some empty files, unused for four years, well you never know. A candle in a bucket, unopened; surely someone will like it. Though the artificial flower arrangement even I return to the box. They decorated my late aunt's room for several years. We looked after her until she was well over ninety. She always admired them and remarked almost weekly, "Aren't those flowers on the sideboard doing well."
Last week we moved on to ornaments. All lovingly wrapped in faded newspaper dated 1999. (From the last house move. There are also objects dated from the move before that, the year 1981. The name of boxed games turning up tend to be a pointer where age is concerned including Cluedo, Down Fall and Stay Alive.
The ornaments have presumably not been missed (and were no doubt 'lofted' when I was at work) but I feel uneasy that some strangers will not appreciate our hoardings.
As Baldrick would say, "I devise a cunning plan." Ignoring my wife's protestations I place them in a large open topped cardboard box. We visit the grandchildren. Helena is nine and is awarded first choice. Slightly apprehensive at incurring the wrath of mother, for her bedroom is already a mass of trinkets and treasures (and in fairness the family are shortly to move house) she nevertheless cannot resist several items. Plus I am secretly pleased as some items were originally treasured by mother Sarah, an equally avid collector in her time. She has good taste I assure her as the pewter items, a peacock, and two dogs are triumphantly borne to their new home. To be added to the Beano and Mandy comics retrieved earlier and added to her ever increasing collection.
Grandchildren Angelina, six and Tommy, four are less discerning. Angelina makes claim to the bambi figure, minus one ear and the globe pencil sharpener, the plastic pony and ballerina. Tommy likes the mini monster, the wooden gorilla (goes well with Wednesday's wooden rhino), the straw lady, imitation ivory chess piece and the pixies on a mushroom. Mother Alison joins in and claims the Scottish lady for the school topics box.
The box is depleted and I am secretly pleased. I return home with five out of twenty five items. Who says the art of hoarding is dead.

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