Thursday, 14 July 2011

Moan, Moan, Moan, Moan, Moan.

It's been a bit rough for the past month so my wife and I (Very royal if you like), my wife and I went Skegness way for the weekend. I like Skegness, no pretensions. All sticks of rock, car boot sales, warm beer and fish and chips. (One street is actually known as Chip Alley by visitors.)



Talking of visitors, our favourite past time is sitting eating chips outside a 'caff' whilst 'people watching'. I was going to say 'all shapes and sizes' but one shape, one size predominates. 'The big people' rule in Skegness. If you're big, nay massive Skegness is seemingly the place to be. Every obese, large, rotund, overweight individual from Leicester, Derby. Nottingham and Sheffield seem to make for dear old 'Skeggy'. And I've not seen so many smokers for many a day. Add tattoos by the dozen, on heads, necks, backs, arms, legs (I daren't guess what's fortunately hidden from view) and you get the picture. And the men are just as bad! Nevertheless It's a cheerful place, at least I thought it was. Now I'm not so sure.



I bought the local paper, the Skegness Standard. Its front page banner headline read. 'United in Wind Battle'. Now Skegness and district is dominated at the moment by news of a proposed 'wind farm' to be situated on land near Anderby Creek. Feelings apparently run high, but are know where near the 'united front' suggested in the headlines. (I actually stayed at Anderby Creek. I met many, including locals who held a different viewpoint. I also noticed 'anti' signs a long distance from the proposed site.) There is even an anti-windfarm organiser, a certain Melvyn Grosvenor who will help organise your protests if you so wish. I could go on, but minds are made up, the word NIMBY springs to mind.



Moving on, I noticed something interesting; happiness in Skegness and district is not in abundance. Letters to the paper are a case in point. Apparently motor vehicle parking on the pavement is rife. Tradesmen, taxis, the general public, all park on the pavement. Not that it's any better when they take to the roads. Buses clog the roads outside the Embassy; parked on zigzags, double parked, and what's more, evidently the police don't care! And if you don't drive but merely walk about, what happens. The seafront shelters you pass are full of foul mouthed drunken men at all hours of the day. Are people born moaners or does the place do this to you?



No, not a happy place, Skegness. The newspaper's Facebook is full of irate moans concerning overflowing litterbins, dirty waterways and overgrown roadside verges. A visit to Skegness really is 'slit your wrist' time. Never mind, a walk up to jolly old Ingoldmells will surely do you good. Nope, not really. People on sites near to the Bolton Lane Sewer Works have been moving out because of the smell. ('Anglian Water is working hard to identify the source of the odour.') Try the Sewer Works, fellas.



If all these problems aren't enough, I'm sure we can find other reasons for a good old moan. Croft residents in particular have got moaning off to a fine art. A delegation from Sycamore Close complained about children skateboarding. (' They didn't skateboard in my day.' Of course they didn't, skateboards weren't invented!) And more radar gun useage requested in Church Lane please, motorists are speeding through the village. (Are you sure it's not machine guns you require? That would cure the problem.) As if all this were not enough, it was reported than the swings on the playing fields were being used by 'certain children' (are they aliens?) and drunk adults. Plus they are leaving litter; serious stuff indeed! Mind you, you will be pleased to know vehicles over seven and a half ton are to be banned from around Croft. (No vehicles, no deliveries, surely; or is that different?)



I wonder if there is something in the water around Skegness that affects people; or maybe it's a misery 'gene'. Is it an age thing? Perhaps its parochialism gone mad. Perhaps the Standard just likes to be miserable. Some Skegness and district citizens make Grumpy Old Ken look positively,

ecstatically happy.



Do you remember Mona Lott, Mrs Mop of ITMA fame. Her favourite saying was' It's being so cheerful as keeps me going.' I wonder if she came from Skegness!

17 comments:

the fly in the web said...

I've just returned from San Ramon on the other side of Costa Rica's Central Valley...their newspaper is full of moans.

The road to La Tigra was supposed to have been repaired forty years ago.....still waiting...
What is happening to the sewage - don't ask...
How can farmers get their coffee out of La Reunion without breaking the springs on their vehicles?...

And the council wants to go carbon neutral in the midst of all this...

Compare this with my local rag which prints pictures of half clad young ladies applauding the participants in the horse parade.

Mother once had a cleaning lady who had a daughter whose ambition was to become a punk and move to Skegness.


I wonder if she crossed your path...

Jeneane said...

I shall remember to avoid Skegness when I visit England later this year ... though maybe the place is inhabited by a different demographic in the Winter?

quilterliz said...

G'day Ken. If I ever get over that way I am in two minds if I would like to visit Skegness after reading your blog. You do make it sound interesting to some extent though. Take care. Liz...

Valerie said...

Skeggy was nice when I visited but that was several hundred years ago. I blame the media for a lot of our discontent!!

Andy said...

Yes, but all that aside Ken, a nice place to go?

Troy said...

I think when the Skegness Tourist Board seek endorsements your name will be a long way down their list!

I've never been - and probably won't now.

SueAnn said...

Guess I will stay away too!! Ha!
You would think that rotund people would be happy. I mean, seriously!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Gods_Girl26 said...

I hope you have better days ahead to come :)

Star said...

Another wonderful post. Thanks so very much!

Sue J said...

This took me back, Ken. The 'Bracing Skegness' poster. I now live in OZ but we would spend our holidays when I was a kid in Chapel St. Leonards with the occasional trip into Skeggy. Fish, chips and mushy peas and aniseed rock were my favourites. I lived in Nottingham and we always had a competition to see who would be the first to see the sea. Two weeks in a caravan but most of the time spent outdoors roaming the beach and sandhills - shrimping; breakwater balancing; paddling etc.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane:)

Gaston Studio said...

Not a place I'm familiar with Ken; will have to check it out sometime in the future.

emsgb said...

Thanks Ken,you made me laugh with this one.Keep up the good work.

MattJW said...

A wonderful post Ken, really enjoyable. I love Skegness, we go often. The beach is one of the finest I've seen - spotlessly clean and inviting. Skegness always strikes the right balance for me...

Grumpy Old Ken said...

And I still like Skeggy, in spite of rather than because of! Interesting that there are moaners all over the world. An age thing or just human nature? I've always maintained miserable old people were once miserable young people!

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