Old, Me, Who's Told You That!

    We went to see friends recently. Paulette fixed their 'smart' television, which was set up all wrong then she corrected the computer. Evidently it wasn't talking to the printer, whatever that means. My wife is very good with these things; no training but very good indeed. I'm quite envious but quite proud on the quiet. I can use a remote for 'on and off', change channels (I often muck that up) and that's my lot. Smart televisions, I think they mean 'smart-arsed'! And it set me thinking how technology has come on, and, probably more important, how fast it moves on. How the hell do they expect us old codgers to cope.

    I remember my old granny when she first had a television all those years ago. Up would come 'Normal Service will be resumed as soon as possible.' Off she would trot to next door to ask them if it was on their television too! One channel, only on for so many hours a day, black and white; as Mary Hopkins used to sing, 'Those were the days, my friend.'

    We used to go scrumping; no problem usually, except the owner might have a dog. No real problem, most of them were daft enough to like the odd bones we 'secreted on our persons'. More scary if an orchard had geese loose. I've had a less than friendly 'peck' on the back of my leg and it doesn't half come keen! But nowadays CCTV's rule the world. Have you never wondered how many times a day you are 'on camera'. Not sure if our anonymous existence wasn't better.

    Keeping up to date with the incredible pace of things today is nigh on impossible for us geriatrics. I understand emails, just, but always do them wrong without 'the wife' being present. Twitter, can't cope with it; and I never did understand hash-tags. Face-Book, not for me, looks far too difficult. Am I giving up too easily. Social life without all the technical paraphernalia, seemingly impossible. Believe it or not, I don't have a mobile phone. How many of you, including 'senior citizens' dare admit they could not envisage ' life without their mobiles'! Am I missing one of the  essentials of modern technology?

    I think most people are afraid of 'losing it'. More important, many imagine they HAVE lost it on occasion. Do you check whether you have locked the door more than once. How many of you 'lose' your mobile phone and have to use another phone to locate their 'lost' mobile? Amusing provided its not you, but a long way from dementia I suspect. I've done daft things all my life. I once went to town on my bike and came home on the bus; plus I regularly used to leave my football boots on the bus into school. Childhood aberrations admitted. But I've got no better with age. On a family 'do' I used the urinal in the toilet. Posh pub, notices ordering you to 'Now wash your hands'. Only when I used the 'blower' to dry hands I was less than impressed. I cursed it as being a letdown in a 'posh' pub until  I realised the error of my ways. Peering closely at the 'dryer' (I had left my glasses in the bar) I read 'Contraceptives, All colours, three for five pounds'.                            

    Am I a dinosaur; is there no hope! Are you all 'with it' individuals who embrace  modern life with all its challenges! What aspects of life do YOU find most challenging. Is it only me that is sent a might bit 'doolally'  by it all!