January, Start as you Mean to Go On. Grumpy's Alternative News.

Ten completely unconnected things that caught my eye. I make no comment! I leave that to you, dear readers.
1  Primary school pupils aged 3 to 11  are being given anger management classes in Leeds in order to 'break the cycle of poor behaviour.'
2 The World Cancer Research Fund suggests most Britons do not understand the calorie content of everyday foods. The example they give is hommos!
3 Traffic wardens have a new computer system in Southend. Its a hand held device that takes note of all parked vehicles EXCEPT the numbers of councillors cars!

4 Regarding the discussion concerning the capping of benefits in Westminster there are at least 190 families getting over £61,000 in state benefits annually according to the Department for Work and Pensions.

5 You don't have to have a working brain to have a baby. Christopher Dixon from Sutton near Hull, babysitting his daughter drank 12 bottles of lager and left the child in her pram on the street. He got a twelve month suspended sentence.

6 The Metropolitan Police spent more than £35,000 on calls to the Speaking Clock in the last two years. Plus £200,000 to Directory Enquiries.

7 Each call to 101, the new non-emergency police number for victims of minor crimes will cost you 10 pence. It is hoped it will relieve the pressure on 999 calls.

8 A Massena motorist was arrested after failing to appear in court on a traffic charge. His four year old daughter told an enquiring policeman 'Daddy is scared and hiding in the attic.'

9 A woman went through Cardiff Airport with a hippopotamus foot in her luggage. Possible from an illegal poaching operation, she claimed she was unaware she needed a licence.

10 Two centuries after Switzerland was last at war the country is set to have a referendum on abolishing conscription. About one third of Swiss households have a firearm.

11 What has been described as 'disgusting, ugly, unsexy, reminiscent of the bark of an ill tempered baboon.' Evidently the sound some female tennis players make in 'full throttle' so to speak. Now the Women's Tennis Association is trying to do something about it. Concentrating on the next generation of course Maria Sharapova is ok then!

12 Finally ladies take a bow. An NCP study of 2,500 people parking found women better concerning many aspects. The general impression was that men were in too much of a hurry. Plus women were far more likely to reverse into a space, (the method approved by instructors.) It might take ladies longer, but they do it right. Well done, ladies!

There was a song many years ago, sang by Anthony Newley entitled 'Stop the World I Want to get Off.' I often think about it. Do strange cum mad people know they are strange cum mad. Rich, famous Antony Worrall Thompson shoplifts cheese and wine from his local Tesco. Not once but five times, and that was just the times he was caught on camera. 636 people were murdered in the last twelve months in the UK. Circumstances vary, the bit I find strangest is that 29 murderers released from prison in the last ten years have killed again. 324 hauliers were fined for watching DVD's whilst driving in France in 2010 and its on the increase. (One driver was ALSO cooking a meal on a portable gas stove.) A dentist in Massachusetts uses paper clips instead of stainless steel whilst doing root canal treatment. A couple from Blackpool have been charged with keeping a ten year old boy in a converted coal bunker. They have not entered a plea. (What do you plead in such a case.) Just a small selection of people who are different, behaviour that is 'different. Do people know when they are DIFFERENT?

Perhaps it wouldn't do for us all to be the same. But surely there's a limit. What do you think?