Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Lost.

I wonder if there is a 'lost' gene. I reckon the answer is yes and I've definitely got it, and had it for as long as I can remember. For instance I remember as a schoolboy proudly carrying my football boots wrapped in brown paper onto the bus to school; and not so proudly retrieving them from the lost property at the bus depot next day. No wonder I was never the star player, lack of actual match practice I reckon.
Equally vivid is the time spent trying to remember where I'd parked my far from valuable bicycle; definitely stolen I decided, though why should anyone want my dilapidated bike only the Almighty could surely know. Except that in an illuminated flashback I suddenly remembered going to town on my bike and coming home on the bus. And incidentally returning to town and finding my bike still parked at the curb in the market place three days later. Those were the days, my friend!
Then there's library books. Normal people choose their books, take them home and read them; far too boring! Definitely so when you can choose them, take them to the car, put them on the car roof, open the car door, get in and drive off. More fun, if rather expensive.
I remember searching, in a Spanish town (was it San Sebastian) for my Mini-Cooper S parked that very same day; on a humid summer evening; and returning to no car. Even hiring a taxi to tour the area in the forlorn hope that we (my holiday friend and I) recognise a street, a house, anything. Until, walking, (the taxi had long since gone) we espied under a street lamp, over a bridge on the OTHER side of the river a glorious pale blue Mini Cooper S. Not unlike mine; in fact it was mine. We had unsuccessfully, not surprisingly not previously found my pride and joy having unwittingly, very stupidly crossed the river bridge and had therefore been searching on the wrong riverbank for several hours. (Dementia, don't talk to me about dementia, I invented it!)
Unfortunately this 'lost' thing runs in the family. My wife, Paulette, bless her wore large 'owl like' round glasses when we first met. Probably to please me she graduated to contact lenses, with mixed success. When we travelled on honeymoon in my Mini Cooper she triumphantly sported her newish contact lenses. Only they tended to fall out with regular monotony. You need to search for a contact lens in a car full of confetti to really have fun. (My wife crashed the car on honeymoon in the Lake District and we're still married! Shows what a forgiving sort of chap I am!)
I remember being pulled up a sand dune at Sheringham by our less than well behaved bull terrier Buster, Paulette, the children and myself. And what should 'pop out' but one of my wife's contact lenses. On a sand dune, I ask you! Finding a contact lens amongst hundreds of tons of sand, no chance, surely one of natures most difficult tasks. Mind you, I was more successful when my wife lost a lens in the shower. I went to the drains, patiently emptied out all the filthy stagnant, foul smelling water and patiently sifted the gritty, oozing contents; a labour of love, true love. (Every beetle 'shell' felt just like a lens to the touch.) And surprise, surprise, after around two hours I found it. And do you know what, she refused to wear it again; now there's gratitude for you!
We didn't have much luck with my wife's contact lenses. They were forever falling out. they usually stick to the clothes of the person wearing them. The trick is to undress, pile the clothes in a neat pile on the floor and then go through them very carefully. Now this gets great interest if in, say Marks and Spencer, but at home in the same circumstances interest in the lens diminishes for some considerable time.
Life goes on. I notice much time is spent in our family searching for children's dummies, schoolbags, coats, nintendos, you name it, we apparently lose it. Definitely a family of 'losers'. But I bet we're not on our own. What is the biggest thing you've lost; or the most important. And whose the biggest 'loser' in your family, you or the kids.

25 comments:

the fly in the web said...

We always lose the very important document we have put out the day before because we know we will need it today.
I reckon it's a poltergeist.

Bernard said...

Very enjoyable read Ken. :)
For reason, I can't quite imagine you behind the wheel of a Mini Cooper S.
When I was at university they were one of the hairiest things on the road. Needed an oil-cooler if I remember correctly?
My friend had one and I can remember being driven down the newly opened M1 at well over 100mph. (there was no limit in those days).
I can always image you and your wife in a camper-van. (Driving it that is! ) :o
Oh, yes. I can't remember losing much - except sometimes - patience!

RJR said...

Oh joy, you have brought back the memories of playing "hunt the contact lense"

My wife wore them for several years to, so I can empathise with you.

Every now and again she would shout "No body move" which was a call to play this wonderful game !!!!

Amazing the places a small see- through disc can find its way into.

Star said...

Delightful post, as usual. A couple of years ago, we were temporarily moved out of our house, so that the asbestos could be cleaned out, but we liked the new place so much that we decided to move the rest of our stuff there, instead of moving back. That was when I put away my extra camera memory cards in such a safe easily remembered place that I was sure not to lose them. I looked for those darn things for two whole years. Found them when we moved, again these two years later (for "moving" chills up your spine, see the Wordless Wednesday photo on my blog: http://mymilanitaly.blogspot.com). I've put them away, again, in a safe and easily remembered place, while putting the house back into order...stay tuned...

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden said...

Golly. Your lost gene sounds identical to my husband's. Going to town with a vehicle and coming home on the bus... Cleaning the drain has a taint of familiarity about it too - not for a contact lens but for one of the children's teeth, which he had tipped out of its fairy glass! Unfortunatly the lost gene is catching and I lost him in November :-(
Keep up the good work :-)

Ayak said...

My husband loses everything, keys, shoes, wallet,etc etc. But infuriatingly he always asks me where they are, as if for some reason I've hidden them! I have enough problems losing my own stuff without losing his. Although if I have mislaid my purse or keys, my first port of call is the fridge...yes I know it's odd, and I can't explain why they end up there :-(

Great post...very amusing!

Carolyn Lackey said...

My husband has probably lost the equivalent of a year in the time he's spent looking for everyday things...keys, glasses, briefcase.

CWMartin said...

I have Laurie do all the driving to prevent my losing the car. Since it was such a bother to remember to look where you park when you do it, I simply let her drive and follow her like a puppy.

L.A.C.E. said...

Reminds me of my latest "loss" this past week. I was intending to teach my 13 year old a lesson in leaving his video games out where the toddler could get at them and wreck them. Well I hid them so well that I cannot find where I put them myself. Some lesson eh?? lol

Pauline said...

It's always a comfort to know my family is not the only one with the lost gene. I once lost a pair of just purchased pantyhose and accused my teenage daughter of taking them. She sure made me suffer when she found them a week later in the deep freeze.

jacksofbuxton said...

I must admit to reaching the stage of entering a room and forgetting why.I'm also prone to going to the supermarket and having to ring Mrs Jack to remind me what I've gone in for.

jacksofbuxton said...

Also nice to see the Mini Cooper S get a mention.My Grandfather would have had a hand in making that.Can't believe The Pheonix Group allowed BMW to have the rights to the name.But having seen what they did after that I shouldn't be too shocked.

Phil said...

I’m always diving around the living room like a demented mule, trying to find the Tv remote in a panic when I hear the sounds of the ‘go compare’ advert or the intro music to ‘east enders’ and similar. Stubbed toes, bruised shins and loud curses mostly come as standard, yet all I need to do is reach out and press the big ‘mute’ button on the Tv itself. But I never think to do this till after I’ve found the remote hiding under the cat...many minutes later.

We are very fortunate to have ownership of a highly effective, extremely clever hi tech ‘location’ device in our household though. The kids call it..”Muuumm!”

My son’s the worst though. New coats and phones. Any mobile phone of his that’s still in his possession after two weeks is awarded an ‘ancient vintage’ label. His friends are always popping round to drop off his phones.

Interesting video here Mr Ken. Would never have thought of contacts as a fashion item. Last time I was here, I got crushed in the rush when I opened the front door of your blog to leave. You’d just been awarded your richly deserved ‘BofNote’ Emmy. I’ve made a full recovery now, but I’ll still be peeping through your letterbox on my way back out this time.

P.s. Word verification was 'surshmit' by the way. Best one yet. Made me chuckle!

slommler said...

The hair stands up on the back of my neck when I hear the phrase..."have you seen my...." !!!! Argh!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Rosalind Adam said...

Your 'lost gene' discussion has made me think about changing times. Can you imagine leaving a bike in town for three days and expecting to find it where you left it? Many years ago a friend of mine went to the shops with her baby in a pram,left him parked outside and came home without him. Thankfully it took her less than three days to realise her mistake and baby was still there. We wouldn't even leave a pram outside a shop today. How sad that times have changed so much.

Troy said...

Would love to comment - but I'm lost for words.

Annette said...

A couple of years ago, I reported my car stolen, and then found it outside the local shops!

microsoft outlook exchange said...

You write marvellous! Keep blogging! Would love to read it ore!

Bz said...

Great post, I love reading your life stories :) very easy-going writing :)

mmmchocolatedigestives said...

Loving this post. I wear contact lens and they always seem to fall out at work, making reading the till rather difficult! The main thing I lose though are pens. I have to buy tons of them, as whenever I drop them in my room, they bounce off the carpet and vanish, never to be seen again. Reckon there's a vortex of somesort....

Galen Pearl said...

I'm so glad you stopped by my blog because now I have found yours! What fun I've had browsing through some of your posts. I am joining your followers and look forward to reading more.

silvia Navarro said...

cute post!!!
love your style!!=D
congratulations!
xoxo

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

I seem to have lost my self! I'm sure I will turn up eventually!
I lose my car all the time - can never remeber where i park it and have to click the lock button till it beeps at me!

http://www.strangerinastrangeland-blog.com/2011/02/lord-wont-you-buy-me.html

Gill - That British Woman said...

another enjoyable read. I am forever losing my car in the carpark. Luckily for all of us when I press a button on my keys it turns on the lights which in the dark is great in the daylight it still takes a while to find it!!

Gill in Canada

Richard G. Crockett said...

Well now. Here, I have to say, "No." I am one of those people who rarely loses anything.

The problem with that is when I DO lose something, it is inordinately upsetting. I had, for example, my immaculately new iPhone disappear a couple weeks ago. I suspended my phone account, went to all the lost and found locations at my campus, even the police. It RUINED my day. I could hardly concentrate.

Then, I found it on the floor, in my bedroom, behind my desk chair, in a shadow, safely ensconced in the little bag that perfectly matched the carpet. It must have fallen out when I was loading my backpack for school.

There is a trick to finding things. "Think of where you were BEFORE you lost it, when you KNEW you had it. Go forward from THERE."

Thanks for another great post, Ken, Rick