Friday, 23 October 2009

Thinking Out Loud

I had no idea two years ago how frustrating a computer could be. Boy oh boy, has the darn thing given me grief this week. And seemingly the cause is Html. Which stands for Horrific Terrorising Mystifying Language. I had problems setting out my last blog; no big deal, right. But being unable to solve my problems has had an amazing effect. At times this week I have questioned my very existence, began to look at some aspects of life differently and have even dreamt about Html. (In my dream basically Html took the form of an oblong card, not unlike a credit card. It followed me around but refused to go home to any slot offered.Plus it was not tiny but large and very intimidating.) In hospital five years ago I had a strange reaction to morphine. I hallucinated and at one stage it was so vivid I saw things that I was convinced, absolutely convinced were real. My Html dream was on a par with this experience.I began to think Html has a mind of its own. Me versus the computer, both capable of independent life but the latter cleverest and in better nick. Now I know this is rubbish but it really got me going. When you do something over and over again, come what may, unsuccessfully, you begin to think you are going mad. Question, if someone is, for use of a better word, mad, do they know it themselves. (I fully realise the term is politically incorrect and rightly so but I'm intrigued as to how they see themselves in relation to others when they are mentally ill.) I have one or two friends who are manic depressives (bio-polar). But I can only guess as to their conception of life.
All illnesses are difficult but I suspect physical illnesses are easier to interpret.
The idea of 'losing' it inevitably figures in our lives, the more so as we get older. Dementia is a much feared part of life today. Terry Pratchett has bravely done much to improve the profile and understanding of dementia. I liked the answer of a reader of my blog who suggested that if you think you have dementia, then you haven't. At times the last few days, baffled by Html, I suspected I was going mad. Presumably I'm not! I was never over technical and one's ability to improve does not improve with age. Add a TGA not too long ago and it's a wonder at times I function at all. (Some say I don't!) I do try, honest. I have a copy of Blogging for Dummies. I also recently purchased Which's 'Computing Made Easy for the Over 50's.' I own 'The Computer Book (Vista Edition)' and '1001 Computer hints and tips.'
Yet I sit with a glazed expression, incomprehension at its finest. My cards read 'blogger extraordinaire'. Perhaps they should read 'blogger extraordinarily stupid'.
Apologies to all you out there with real problems in life. My problems are tiny in comparison. All this just because I couldn't get a computer to do as I wished! And I'm much happier now I've got it off my chest. Wiser, no, but happier. Any thoughts, support, encouragement welcome. Or is everyone out there expert in the technology stakes. And I promise I won't do another 'heavy' blog for a while!

21 comments:

the fly in the web said...

When mine turns itself off for no reason, refuses to scan, or puts what I think are called bullet points in letters against my will I do wonder what happened to the machine as the tool of man.
A good blogging friend, Ayak of Turkish Delight, has pushed me over so many humps in managing to wrest the thing to my will that I owe her a great deal, but I still start questioning my ability to cope with something that should be simple and refuses so to be.

Robert said...

I treat computer problems as just another type of challenge. Therein lies my problem - I hate to let any challenge beat me. Thus I will spend an extraordinary amount of time resolving a small problem of doubtful significance. I'm sure that this behaviour pattern is a form of madness (am I allowed to use that word?) but I haven't yet found a cure.

You are lucky. You have a computer literate son-in-law.

Valerie said...

If you're not crawling up the wall I can assure you that you're not mad. If it's any consolation most of us are in this together. HTML ... what's that ... giggles.

liZZie said...

I want to say thank you Ken, for being so up front because so often I form the impression that bloggers are whizz bang at it and can do this stuff easily! I can only learn by trial and error and unless I write it down I forget what I've learned. I came across something the other day from a yoga teacher about neuro something or other, about how the brain gets trained through repitition, so that going over and over with something is a problem unless it's the exact right thing. Don't give up though!

Kath said...

hello Ken, just came over from Kippers and I had to empathise about the 'puter troubles. Thankfully I married someone who is an IT wizard, a skill I didn't think would be terribly useful at the time of his proposal...Kath

Gary said...

Ken you are not alone. HTML means nothing to me and yet, apparently, I use it every day. To my mind the acronym stands for "How To Make Lunatics" as that is exactly what it does.

I faff about for hours with it, never fully understanding how the code I've just laid down actually turns into something half decent when published - the fact that it does owes nothing to my knowledge of it. It's just pure luck!

Keep your chin up and relish the delete button.
Gary
http://thefairweatherblogger.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

You know what? The only qualified persons who can diagnose mental disorder are the very sane professional psychologists and psychiatrists although you have to have a thorough investigation if they are really honest with their findings or they are just using you for their "thesis." You know they are just bunch of "supposed to be" professionals who want your money because knowing you are mentally insane it's easy to manipulate your way of thinking. So beware. No I'm not making you paranoid about this. I want you people to THINK RATIONALLY.

Kelloggsville said...

OK - I have 10+ years in IT. I run massive computers churning millions of transactions daily. I install applications on Unix, I run Oracle databases the size of Warehouses(!DBA joke!) but my point is:

my blogging html drives me blogging nuts. I yell at the machine "look you B*st*rd I can do most things this world throws at me: I drive a car, I put up shelves, for Gods Sake I raised kids : I'm not stupid"

but clearly I am stupid for yelling at a machine and thinking it can hear me (and you're worried about YOU'RE dementia!)

I once saw someone throw a badly behaved printer out a window as they yelled "see your disposable" : It was hilarious - but I can relate to exactly how he got to that point.

You are not alone!

Liz said...

I was ready to kick my computer in work today. But then again I was also ready to kick some very loud women.

I came here from um ... mutley's blog (I think) and Husband is from Derby.

My word verifier is MATNES, which could be read as madness.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Computers were invented to be obedient and literal servants - not so! They are our Lords and masters ~ Eddie

cheshire wife said...

I think that that was very eloquently written. If it had been me there would have been a few ***s, blanks and ---s!

Eddie Bluelights said...

Hi Ken
You may know that I am compiling and posting David McMahon's Sunday Roast since his recent departure, when he handed over the project to me. This has been a great honour for me and I am endeavouring to raise the profile of this great feature column.

I would be highly honoured if you would agree to be featured and I would be grateful if you could email me regarding your decision. I am sure your interview would be very interesting. My roast email address is thesundayroasting@googlemail.com

Very best wishes
Eddie

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Eddie
Tried to send e mail saying ok but doesn't seem to want to go. Why I wonder? Gremlins, your end or mine?

rosiero said...

Just catching up with blogland posts written, while i have been away. I sympathise with you, as *our* computers have been driving us crazy - mine has died and my husband's is on the verge of dying which means we are having to contemplate buying new desktops or laptops at the very least. Isn't it amazing that these days we cannot live without our technology. When a fridge/television/ computer gives up the ghost we rush out to buy a replacement immediately, yet we moan about them when they don't do their jobs properly!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

fly in the web
Hi
How on earth do seven year olds do it!

Robert
Hi
The trouble is my son in law is far away and very modernly busy as all youngsters seem to be. I've no doubt you have far more aptitude re computers than me.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Valerie
Hi
How can one person get it and another cant. Its only partly an age thing!

liZZie
Hi
Thanks. Very interesting. I wonder which bit of my brain is knackered. Amazing that it can work when damaged.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Valerie
Hi
How can one person get it and another cant. Its only partly an age thing!

liZZie
Hi
Thanks. Very interesting. I wonder which bit of my brain is knackered. Amazing that it can work when damaged.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Kath
Hi and welcome.
Men are supposed to be better at this sort of thing but this one isn't!

Gary
Hi
Thanks for the encouragement. HTML, I just dont get it!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Anonymous
Hi and welcome. Very deep but interesting. Pity I dont know who you are but you must have your reasons.

Kellogsville
Hi
Very good1 I need someone to sit by me and physically go through it, SLOWLY.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Liz
Hi
Wise words. Good old Derby. Not exactly the creme de la creme. (I live in Sunnyhill, ex Alvaston, ex Ockbrook.

Eddie
Hi
Wise words


cheshire wife
Hi
Thanks. You want to hear my wife swear at the football. Yet normally she's very restrained!

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