Friday, 13 February 2009

Bigger is Best, Or is It?

I have enjoyed life as a part time public speaker for some time. My set spiel is entitled 'There's Nowt so Strange as Folk' for which I receive the princely sum of twenty pounds including travel. (As mentioned before Tony Blair got £164,000 for one fifty minute speech.) Unlike the blogging world, public speaking is not really a media dealing with the topical, it tends to deal with events that stand the test of time. At the same time new material is necessary for repeat performances. (Even geriatric audiences recognise a little of a speech they have heard before.) So the time came to add to my repertoire. So I hit on the idea of a talk entitled 'Is the Whole World going Mad or is it Me.' How fascinating this has proved to be. Seemingly the world is full of pompous fools, awkward customers, excruciatingly stupid rules and regulations and the daftest happenings imaginable, all mixed in with the most heart warming individuals on this or any other planet.
My collection of material has grown over time and I have become almost an authority on anything odd or stupid. Nothing sensible or mind stretching, just anything odd or stupid! Take the word bigger for instance.
In German there is a man, Karl Szmolinsky who breeds giant rabbits, and I mean giant. The size of a dog, some weighing over 10kg (22lb); you can't get much bigger than that! They are viewed with interest by some of the worlds leading nations, including China and the USA. Evidently one rabbit can supply up to 7kg (15lb) of meat. Such was the interest in North Korea that twelve were brought for a breeding programme. Unfortunately it coincided with the birthday of Kim Yong II, the North Korean's leader. There is the very strong suspicion that the rabbits were part of the banquet in his honour. Oh dear! Mind you, the appetite of these rabbits is massive; carrots, potatoes, anything that stops moving I imagine. Perhaps the Koreans decided that giant rabbits were not cost productive after all.
Quickly moving on lest the more sensitive amongst you dwell too long on those poor rabbits. do you remember Bao Xishun, the herdsman from Inner Mongolia. He was lonely, shy, sad and girl less. He is also 7ft 9in tall. He didn't have too much going for him.
Now the Royal Jidi Ocean World in the northeastern Liaoning province had two dolphins with a penchant for swallowing plastic dropped into their aquarium. Which proved immovable despite the best attempts of veterinary surgeons armed with surgical instruments. So who was sent for. Was it Batman and Robin or the inimitable Spiderman. Not likely, enter Bao, he of the 41in (106cm) arms. Arms down the throat and hey presto, (what's Mongolian for hey presto) job done. The dolphins made a complete recovery and Bao became an instant hero. So much so that he attracted the attention of the opposite sex. At the age of fifty six he married Xia Shujuan, a twenty eight year old, 5ft 6in saleswoman from his home town of Chifeng. All together now, all say ahhh!
So is big best I wonder. I leave you with this thought. Some time back health specialists suggested clothes made in larger sizes should carry a tag with an obesity helpline number. (I can't resist printing the sizes.) It refers to all clothes sold with a waist of more than 40in for men and 37in for boys, women's garments with a waist of more than 35in or size 16 or above, and more than 31in for girls. Me, I still think stories concerning rabbits and dolphins are more interesting. Now pardon me whilst I go and find a tapemeasure.

12 comments:

Tan said...

Yes Sir ... that tells it all ... Big is as big as you think it is ... I agree with the thought here ...

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Mean Mom said...

I wouldn't say that bigger is always best, but I suppose that those 2 dolphins think differently!

I don't like to look at those giant rabbits. They appear abnormal, but I don't like to think of people eating them either!

Your last post didn't show up on my dashboard, for some reason. I would like my ashes to be scattered in my garden. My father in law and my brother in law had their ashes scattered. It was very hard for the family, having to go through 2 ceremonies.

Kitty said...

Size definitely isn't everything ;-) x

Robert said...

Obviously big doesn't mean best - otherwise your fee for public speaking would have to be HUGE :0)

rosiero said...

I loved that photo. She must get a crick in her neck every time she wants to look up at her husband!

Troy said...

Perhaps they should stop selling large clothes then people would have to diet before they could make new purchases?

Strawberry Jam Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Big is best - small is beautiful - less is more - who knows. Any of those would apply to that wonderful couple. Great photo of them but not so sure about the rabbits! A

cheshire wife said...

I thought that the best things came in small packages.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Hi Tan
Pleased that you visited.

Mean Mom
You have a soft spot for animals which is far better than being callous or indifferent.
Re the death thing. Whichever way we look at it it is very traumatic at the time.

Kitty
Very true!

Robert
Thanks but times are hard except for politicians.

rosiero
i reckon there's someone for everyone. Its finding them that's the problem.

Troy
Flipping heck, troy thats cruel! Surely you'd also get loads of people running about with no clothes on.

Jane Anne
I know what you mean!

cheshire wife.
Very true!(I'm 5f 4i)

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Bao gets my vote! Glad that the dolphins are feeling much better :)

Grumpy Old Ken said...

And he got a wife so presumably everyone was happy!