Saturday, 20 December 2008

Bring on the Clowns

I were doing my favourite past time, ear wigging in a pub recently. What an enlightening experience. Cut glass accents and nauseating bilge.
'Must get the BM' serviced; isn't steak getting expensive, eating out more than twice a week's quite exorbitant; I say, it's so cold, can't wait for Christmas in the Bahamas; and aren't gym fees getting expensive.'
Now it's nowt to do wi me but what daft apuths. Who sang 'Times They are A'changing'; a truism indeed.
Owd yer sweat and stop yer grizzlin', yov no idea 'What's it all about, Alfie.'
Ow were dragged up in Ockbrook, a very desirable place to live in Derbyshire. Now full of some very posh people; or at least they think they're posh.
We 'ad nowt thenadays but we didn't do the chunterin' this lot do.
Right mardy boggers. They don't know what it is to scrat for the rent. Steak, there were no steak when I were young. If yow got bread and dripping for snap you et it an' gor on wi' it.
And nesh buggers, they don't know what code is. I've bin all of a shek wi code many a time. It's starvin, so what. A birra snow never urt no-one. Pura another ganzi on and stop mitherin. And if their doolally div kids did more instead of slormin about at 'om they wouldn't feel the code 'alf so much. Plus they wudna be so fat. Gym fees, gym fees, that's a belter. We just put our pumps on and ran roun' village until we were taitered. Us kids might 'ave been lairy but there were no fat kids in our day. I cud clonk em, I really cud. If they want to talk rammel, it's their, whats that posh word, preg, prog, progative. But as my mother would have said, 'Ah canna abide snobs, mi duck, but ni mind eh.'

9 comments:

Stinking Billy said...

ken, some puma's there, wor young'un, but I got them all bar 'rammel'?

rosiero said...

I say, toodle pip. I actually understood all that and me a Londoner born and bred!

Parisgirl said...

Fabulous Ken! Can't pretend I understood it all - maybe it's because I'm a Londoner - but I got the gist. Reminded me of Monty Python's 'lick the road clean' sketch.

Frogdancer said...

LIke Paris girl, I had Monty Python going through my head as well. Good post.

Robert said...

It's a pity that regional dialects are dying out. I moved to the West Country 14 years ago, and it is surprising how much of the local dialect has been lost in that short time. Any suggestions how to stop this?

Gill - That British Woman said...

Thanks for popping by my blog......I also understood everything you wrote, so I can't have "turned" that Canadian yet!!!!

Anyhow, you asked me about gluten free recipes. I don't actually do them, but if you go to this blog, this lady does a lot of gluten free stuff: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/ Its all done in a slow cooker though, not sure if you have one of those? Great things, wouldn't be without mine.

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Gill in Canada

Clippy Mat said...

ay up ken your mam was a reet gud un an taaked gud sense an'aal.
us, we had nowt when we wor young, an' we've still got most iv it left!
:-))

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Billy
Rammel is simply rubbish. What you and me write sometimes
Rosiero
It's a long time since i heard toodle pip.
Paris Girl
i wonder what our french friends would make of it all.
Frogdancer.
Thanks. Can you tell which part of
Australia soeone is from by their accent.
Robert
I suspect texting etc does not help. Plus people are more mobile nowadays. Shame really. Plus people pretend they're posh and speak 'posh' for effect.
Gill
Thanks for the help. My wife has noted the site. Re accents, have you lost yours or do canadians think you're a 'hoot'.
Clippy Mat
Brilliant. Have you still got an accent?

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