Rip Van Stevens has spoken.

I decided when I first came into the blogging world to generally avoid being overtly topical. So many seem to do it, invariably better than me. I have realised in my short blogging career that it is difficult to find something to blog about unless you do 'topical' hence one reason why twice a week seems to suit me. Another point has arisen that suggests I'm an an out of touch old fart. One reason that I'm not a really topical blogger is that I haven't a clue when it comes to topicality. What's more, I don't even care.

John Sergeant, evidently 'the dancing pig' has been in the news all week. I know of him of course but I cringe at the ignorance and sheer insensitivity of those who have nicknamed such an apparently likable man with such a derisory nickname. But I personally have never seen him dance, nor the programme on which he appeared. Not even once, never, ever. (Which seems to put me in a minority, again I don't really care.) Don't fancy it, the only ballroom dancers I ever met seemed narcissistic, preening individuals devoid of anything outside of their glittery, boring sequined existences.

Now it might be me, but it got me thinking as to how I fit in, so to speak. Am I, for instance, the only person who has never seen a Big Brother programme, ever. These celebrity people in a jungle, am I the only person never to have seen a single second of such unadulterated tripe. (Is it a real jungle, I do not know, honest.) I confess I have to be careful here. I was told off strongly by my daughter for suggesting such programmes are for boring individuals of limited intellect leading humdrum lives. She has a point of course, she is an avid fan of some of the puerile programmes imaginable. (oops!) She is also a respected teacher and by no means of limited intelligence. (She takes after her mother of course and not her father!)

The obvious answer to my dismissive rejection of much of the most popular people and programmes in the world is, 'How do you know if you've never watched? But I've never watched Jonathan Ross perform, if perform is the right word. But do I really have to watch such a self satisfied, smirking, obnoxious individual to see what ought to be obvious. (His lack of respect for Andrew Sachs was on a par with the irreverence afforded John Sergeant.) Is it not startlingly apparent that without his doting followers he, Ross is nothing, just another millionaire cretin living off my licence fee.

Don't get me wrong. I would not wish for a form of censorship delivered by myself and my ilk. I just wonder if I am any the worse for having missed some of the nation's most popular viewing. I've no doubt the X Factor is compelling viewing only please don't make it compulsory. Having never seen a single episode of 'Sex in the City' is no doubt my loss. (I did watch The Sopranos, every single episode and found it riveting.) There must be many more programmes I missed over the years. I could look them up but to do so would be a form of cheating and my generation doesn't cheat. But if Tom Cruise walked in here as I type I would honestly not know who he was. Britney Spears, I know of her but I'm not sure why.

And there you have it. Another boring Monday morning. Rant over, you should know by now, they don't call me Grumpy Old Ken for nothing!