Granddad's in Trouble Again!

In my dim and distant past, during my days as a school teacher I became known, not by choice as 'someone who was good with the remedials.' We got on well in the main and it was a change from the high fliers whom I also taught. The former were more fun, and we battled on together, in a good humoured, less academic way. For my sins I lived in the catchment area, so they knew where I shopped and more important, where I drank. They were also extremely nosey, though not in a malicious way as to my family circumstances.

Now I have two daughters, Sarah and Alison of whom I am intensely proud, facts not hidden from the remedials. (Is that term better or worse than being referred to as 'special needs. But who am I to judge.) The lessons were in the main light hearted, and I often received questions as to my wife and children.

'How many kids have you got, sir?'

'Three, one of each.'

This was seldom queried. But at a later date.

'No sir, how many kids have you really got?'

'All right then, two.' A pause.

'Are you going to have any more?' (I did tell you they were nosey!)

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Well, we were originally going to have three. But someone told me every third child born in the world is Chinese so I thought, right then, two will do.'

It would sometimes be as long as a week before this too was queried.

(I know, I know it's all politically incorrect but no offence was ever intended.)

Fast forward to 2009. My daughter Alison is expecting her third child. Daughter Angelina aged seven is going round telling everyone she is going to have soon a Japanese brother or sister. Evidently she heard me recounting my story and she misses nothing. She is a real 'flabby tabs.'

Only she mixes her orientals, Chinese or Japanese, they're all the same to her. So granddad's in the doghouse, again!

Alison is a real, modern mother. She explains everything to her children, Angelina and Tommy, four. Both children are delightful even if Tommy takes advantage of Angelina's good nature.

'Now Angelina, I know I've been a bit grumpy lately, but is there anything worrying you regarding this new baby. If there is, please tell me. Is there anything?'

'Well yes, mummy, there is something worrying me.'

'Oh, and what's that. You know you can tell me. What is it that's worrying you?.

'Well, you know when we get the new baby. Will I have to carry its bag to school as well as mine AND Tommy's?'

At times you might consider Angelina strange but far short of weird though she may consider others so. The following conversation ensued on her return from school.

'Mum, are you a weirdo?'

'I don't think so, why do you ask?'

'I didn't think you were, only we've been doing about weirdos at school.'

'Oh.'

'And to be a weirdo you have to have no husband 'cos he's died.' There's no answer to that.

The joys of children and grandchildren, they lighten many a dark day.